To invite or not to invite, that is the question...

My guest list is out of control!

There is a core group of about 50 people, made up of my and my fiancé's closest friends and family who I want to attend no matter what.  But then, there are also extended family members who I know would want to be there, other friends who I see on a regular basis, current and former work colleagues who have been out with us or had us over to their homes, friends who have invited us to their weddings, people who attend my mosque who I see every week and have known me since I was a teenager, not to mention all the extra people our families want to invite.

Where to draw the line??

Another difficulty arises in that I have way more friends and associates than my fiancé does.  In fact, I also have way more family than he does.  It's to the point where his list is running about 68 long and mine is running about 168.  We cannot have that many people.  And I feel guilty about dominating the guest list.  However, when you consider that many of my friends have become his friends too, and that it's not my fault I have more family, that guilt starts to melt a bit.

In my sorority purpose, 2 of the lines are:

"To cultivate acquaintance with many whom I meet;

To cherish friendships with but a chosen few..."

While, ironically, I only have one of my old sorority sisters on this list, those two lines have been ringing in my head.  I am pretty darn good at cultivating acquaintance, but do all those people really need to come to my wedding?  If I already know who my cherished chosen few are, is it wrong of me to limit the guest list to just those people?

My cousin, who was recently engaged told me that everyone else has 364 other days of the year to see me.  And quite frankly, I don't think that anyone who has not made some sort of effort to see me or at least talk to me in the past 364 days should be on my list.  I also don't think that people who just happen to see me frequently because we run in the same social circles or go to the same places need to be on the list.  It's Bermuda - you are going to see the same people all the time because the island is just that small and interconnected.

The tough part is that, inevitably, people are going to be offended.  At the end of the day, though, it's really about my fiancé and I enjoying our special day with the people we love the most.

If you have any tips on cutting the guest list, I would love to hear it!